The past three weeks have been nothing short of a nightmare. I had some serious health issues come on suddenly that have led to 4 emergency room visits, with one ending in an overnight stay in the hospital, and a slew of procedures, tests, biopsies, scans, and x-rays to help the doctors make a diagnosis.
I’ve been scared and overwhelmed since my husband Michael rushed me to the ER three weeks ago because I was having difficulty breathing while walking short distances and even just standing.
Before we left our home, I kissed our dog Amber on the head, thinking it might be the last time I saw her sweet face, and looked around our home and property, wondering if I would see them again while thinking about how much I’ve loved living surrounded by nature.
I felt this way because a CT scan of my chest the day before showed some shocking and devastating findings, and at that time, it felt like I was dying, the life force in me growing weaker by the minute to the point I had to use a wheelchair when we arrived at the ER.
The news has gotten better over the past few weeks, but there is still a mystery as to what is causing the health issues I’m having so the tests continue.
Last week, while waiting to have one of these tests, I found it easy to not go to a dark place and imagine all the horrible, terminal things I could have, but I didn’t have the strength to be positive and allow myself to believe that everything would be okay. It just seemed too far of a reach considering how my body felt, the results of some of the tests, and what I overheard some of the doctors discussing.
So in that moment, I decided I would stay “neutral” about my situation, and not try to predict any positive or negative outcome. I would just stay “neutral” as I took in information and test results as they came. No thinking too far ahead, no jumping to conclusions, no “what ifs,” just taking it one minute at a time.
With this decision, I could feel a heavy burden lift and the overwhelming feelings I was having diminish. Being “neutral” felt doable and lighter than trying to be positive, and it also took much less energy, which I was short on.
My body was struggling not only from what was going on internally but also from being pocked and prodded by doctors, nurses, and other hospital staff. Staying “neutral” allowed me to just be, without the added emotional stress of thinking negative thoughts or depleting my limited energy by forcing myself to stay positive. “Neutral” was a balance point in between the two, where I could rest and relax. Understanding this was truly a transformational moment for me!
Being “neutral” in challenging situations when the future is unknown is not something I’ve ever considered doing; I’ve always thought my choices were to face these situations with a positive or negative attitude.
But, man, “neutral” is a really powerful place to rest in to reduce stress, conserve energy, and to be present to take in information and facts from a reality-based place, not from a distorted place that being too positive or too negative can create. It stops our minds form creating scenarios that are not based on facts, depleting our limited energy and causing unnecessary worry and stress.
As I continue on this journey, if I find myself getting too far ahead of the reality of the situation or if I find myself thinking negative thoughts about “what could be,” I will remind myself to go to the powerful place of “neutral” so I will have the energy I need to face whatever comes next.
In essence, this is what THE SPIRIT FACTOR is about: removing obstructions so we can see the truth and live from a reality-based place. What I’ve realized these past 3 weeks is that I have truly integrated the concepts and philosophy of THE SPIRIT FACTOR into every cell of my body and I have removed most of the obstructions in my life so that in challenging times I can easily go to the unobstructed place of “neutral.”
I will write more about this subject in the coming weeks, but I felt compelled to share this information with you now because I feel it’s important, valuable, and even urgent for those who are struggling.
If you are facing some unknowns in your life, I hope this place of “neutral” will help you as it has me. Please share with me if it does so we can heal and grow together.
THE SPIRIT FACTOR is available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle versions.